It is with great sadness that I inform you Charlotte (the writing spider) has been squished. She is now quilting in spider heaven. I'm sure you are as dismayed as I was.
Last night I pulled into the carport (if you can call it that - it is one of those metal tops - not something attached to the house) as always. When I rounded the back of the car and started to speak to Charlotte on her web hooked to the second set of support beams there was nothing there. Charlotte and her web were gone. I searched around the other beams to no avail. Where, oh where, had Charlotte gone.
There was no tobacco juice so I could not quickly blame Rick. Simon (our outside cat) would probably been intimidated by a spider as big as Charlotte. Then it hit me. Justen had taken off the garbage as he had been told to do. I did not see that one coming. I whipped out the cell phone and punched in number 4 on the speed dial (1 was automatically set to voicemail, then I went by age, I can't help it that he was born after his brother and I am not getting into that discussion here). The conversation went something like this:
Me: What did you do to Charlotte? (Sorry, I know that was a quick jump to judgment.)
Justen: Who the heck is Charlotte?
Me: My spider, the one on the carport.
Justen: Oh, you mean that huge writing spider?
Me: Yes, that is Charlotte.
Justen: I squished it.
Me: Why did you squish it, that was my spider.
Justen: I had to take off the garbage like you told me and it creeped me out so I squished it.
Me: (I'll skip the lecture he got on not killing living things and the scientific conclusions that serial killers quite often kill animals in their youth because I don't know that squished writing spiders would fit into the category of mutilated animals.)
Justen: (I'll skip the half-hearted apologies here as well.)
So do you know what he did after he hung up? He turned right around and called Rick and said, "if she really upset that I killed a spider?" (Here's a little note for all you kids out there, don't call back and ask the one parent about the othere when the parents are in the same room.) Rick assured him that I was upset about the spider and that he (Rick) was now off the hook for spitting on the web and he (Justen) was on the hook for spider murder.
So I will end this by saying a fond farewell to Charlotte. I thought of her as I drove down Sevierville Road this morning and passed the bunches of webs hanging heavy with dew.
Quilt on Charlotte in that great web in the sky!